So this morning I got to thinking about a chain letter that went around our school back in 7th grade. It began "this is a test, this is a test of love that has been going on since 19xx" Sorry I forget the year it said. It ended "If you don't complete this you will have bad luck in your love life" The tasks included drinking water and other things. I never did the chain letter. I've had bad luck in my love life. Now I don't believe in chain letters-- but everyone who did the letter is now married or in a relationship. We're all 33, 34, or 35 now. I'm 34.
Now, at the age of 16, I began dating my ex-boyfriend, Michael. He was 15. And we broke up at age 22. He treated me badly. He also cheated on me. He has dated a lot of people, and I'm the ONLY person he cheated on. I don't regret dating him, because I learned A LOT of lessons from my own stupidity. And though I loved him, he never loved me. I found that out too late, but yeah, he never did.
Around the age of 24 or 25 I had a friend named Richard. I fell in love with him. When I told him, he never talked to me again.
Then I had a few friends with benefits. At around the age of 25 or 26-- I think 26?? I began dating Dexter. He never saw me as someone he could fall in love with and was honest with me from the beginning-- and that is why we make better friends than anything else. But we dated on and off for 6 years anyway.
So... I know I must be doing something wrong here. And I know what I deserve, what I should expect. People ask me why I don't date. Well, I have a lot I need to learn before I date. In chat a couple of the girls get on my case about it-- and they know my background even-- but I don't live my life for THEM. I live it for ME, and I know what is best for ME. And right now, I don't need to date. And I'm fine being single most of the time-- and I am a FIRM believer that if you aren't happy being single, then you aren't ready for a relationship. Anyway, those are my thoughts for today.
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